i can't wait for next week to be over, but i just hope that it goes well. it's annoying how i know i'm so unprepared for some of them, but when i explain this to people all they do is look at me as if i'm joking. As if they think i'm "just saying that". well i'm not, and when your disappointed i won't give a fuck. it's easy for you to say, but you're already finding it hard to cope with that situation, so imagine dealing with a load of exams as well? yeahh i didn't think you could, although it's harder for you... i know.

i want to write my 'thank you' cards to the teachers to tell them how grateful i am for their help, but i've realised that only a few actually cared. i'll miss one teacher the most, i wish i could just come back for my history lessons with woodyyy (L). i get all nervous and excited when i think about richard hale, i'm glad i have my friends with me. even though one of the most important ones won't be there, i have the others.

i love being home by myself. there's no noise, and i can just do whateverrrr. then my dad comes home and his voice actually gives me a headache sometimes.

i love football for some reason, which is really strange? and i love watching it with my dad. so i'm looking forward to tomorrow, just imagining his competitive yells and how he jumps up and down makes me laugh. and i kinda like it when it's just me and him because everything is so much calmer and less like 'lerherlhegr'. he still managed to piss me off earlier though ahaa.

i've always known this, but i've realised it much more recently. basically i could not live without my family. by that i don't mean my dad and these lot (even though i couldn't), but when i think of my 'family' i think of my grandma and four cousins and two uncles and two aunties. they mean the world to me and i would rather be with them than anyone else.

this is exactly the reason why i NEED to start writing in my dairy, there's so much to say and i don't really like writing it on a blog. but only a few people will read this so it's all good. it's quite sad how i keep a diary but i love reading it back and remembering how i felt at the time and realising how far i've come or how much things have changed. yet this time it's been 6 months since i wrote last and i don't want to write everything which has happened since then, it's just way too much. and i don't want to read the last thing i wrote because i know what it'll say and i just don't want to see it yet, so maybe summer?

i just read that through and i've used "but" way too many times :') i can't be bothered to change it.